Before I came out, I was "the flamboyant guy" in every group. I was raised without any gender expectations. My favorite color back then was pink. So my parents tried to find as many pink things as possible, which wasn't easy. I'm born 1966, so it was the 1970ties. My y behavior and communication patterns (according to Deborah Tannen) were rather feminine. I was bullied to some degree, but the predominant effect was that I was an outsider everywhere.
By coincidence this matches my self-perception. I'm nonbinary Femme. I adopted the Femme label from a conversation with CJ Bellwether about Shar Rednour's "The Femme's Guide to the Universe". I like to make an appearance. I'm very visibly trans and defy most stereotypes. Not because of a conscious effort. It's just my identity.
I also have a quite intimidating appearance. People described me as arrogant and unapproachable. In the before time this was a mental armor. Now I don't need it, but I can switch it on and off in the blink of an eye.
And sometimes it's entertaining to join a situation, looking rather non-passing (passing in itself is a toxic concept), wearing very feminine clothes (not the "baby trans" type of feminine, fashion theory is a special interest topic of mine for at least 30 years now) and sporting a rather domme attitude. I can see some people's brain literally break in the attempt to squeeze me in a category.
You wrote this very well, as if it was speaking from me, to me. You are not alone, I also feel this!
Before I came out, I was "the flamboyant guy" in every group. I was raised without any gender expectations. My favorite color back then was pink. So my parents tried to find as many pink things as possible, which wasn't easy. I'm born 1966, so it was the 1970ties. My y behavior and communication patterns (according to Deborah Tannen) were rather feminine. I was bullied to some degree, but the predominant effect was that I was an outsider everywhere.
By coincidence this matches my self-perception. I'm nonbinary Femme. I adopted the Femme label from a conversation with CJ Bellwether about Shar Rednour's "The Femme's Guide to the Universe". I like to make an appearance. I'm very visibly trans and defy most stereotypes. Not because of a conscious effort. It's just my identity.
I also have a quite intimidating appearance. People described me as arrogant and unapproachable. In the before time this was a mental armor. Now I don't need it, but I can switch it on and off in the blink of an eye.
And sometimes it's entertaining to join a situation, looking rather non-passing (passing in itself is a toxic concept), wearing very feminine clothes (not the "baby trans" type of feminine, fashion theory is a special interest topic of mine for at least 30 years now) and sporting a rather domme attitude. I can see some people's brain literally break in the attempt to squeeze me in a category.